Some Words To Live By

I’m a bit tardy on the following blog.  I meant to write it a while ago, but I’ve been quite busy lately.  Anyway, better late than never.  

So my daughter started college a few months ago. The years flew by with the blink of an eye.  I remember as if it were yesterday, when as an infant, she would vomit all over the baby sitters every time my wife and I went out for dinner.  It was a few years later, at 4 years old, when she was misbehaving and I told her “go straight to your room.”  She replied “I can’t go straight to my room Daddy, I have to make a right turn to go up the stairs and then I have to make a left turn at the top of the stairs!”  I knew then I was in big trouble.  I just didn’t know how much.

There are hundreds of other stories of course – but I’ll spare you the sometimes gory and mostly comical details.  Driving her to college the morning of “move-in day”, I had a knot in my stomach.  How can she possibly be going off to college?  How have the past 18 years flown by so quickly?  There were so many things I wanted to tell her that morning…things I had failed to truly get through to her the prior 18 years because she was still my little girl, not the teenager she had become.  Sure, I think I did a fairly solid job of teaching her right from wrong, but there were decades-worth of information I’ve gleaned over my many years of life which I wanted to somehow transmit telepathically into her brain.

We’ve both never been great at communicating with each other.  Teenagers never want, or need, to listen to their parents.  We are the last people on their list in terms of “go-to” resources.  They’ll ask their friends, they’ll post questions on Facebook or even Yahoo answers, but their parents?  No way.

So I decided to post a few things on my blog because I know she’d rather read my blog than listen to me lecture her.  So here you go sweetie, in the form of my Top Ten.

10) Work hard in school and take pride in whatever you do.  When I was in college, I didn’t take it nearly as seriously as I should have.  Take advantage of it and get everything out of it that you can.  You don’t realize until way later in life the value of a college experience.

 

9) Learn a useful skill while you’re in school, one which will allow you to create value in some form or fashion in the future.  But whatever you do, make sure you love it.  In the long run, you’ll be happier and you’ll be more successful if you’re doing something you want to do, every day.

8) Always go after what you want in life.  Be determined.  People who are successful don’t accept “no” for an answer.  They never give up and they don’t waste time on nonsense.  Have a laser focus on all of your goals.

 

7) Be generous.  I’ve always told you this, but now you need to remember this every day.  Give, don’t take.

6) Be self-sufficient.   Don’t depend on anyone or anything.  If you can take care of yourself, you can take care of anything.

5) Guys in college (and many even out of college) want one thing.  If they tell you otherwise, they’re lying.  I know some women want the same thing, just not as many.  Just be smart.

4) Be competitive.  Life is a game.  Play to win.  You should always want to win, but you should always be a gracious loser as well.

 

3) Be happy.   If you have your health, you have no reason not to be happy.  All problems work themselves out eventually, even things beyond your control.  So don’t stress out over them.

2) Don’t drink or party (too much).

1) And as always…be passionate!  

Thank you Steve

Anyone who knows me well knows there are two modern day individuals who I have come to respect more than any other.  I will save a blog for one of them for another day.  Today, I’d like to write about an incredible individual who was taken way before his time.

Steve Jobs passed away this week after a long battle with pancreatic cancer.  Steve was a hero and a mentor to me, even though I never met him.   He exemplified the purpose of my blog as well as anyone.  You’ve no doubt read or heard countless stories of his hundreds of admirable traits, as well as some of his feared traits (from ex-employees.)  However, in my opinion, no word embodied Steve Jobs more than “passion.”

Passion is defined as any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling.  Steve epitomized passion.  He loved Apple, in my opinion, like no other CEO has loved their company.   He was almost psychotic about creating the right products for the consumer…products which people love to use, are easy to use, which give them immense utility and helps them solve problems.   As one simple example, we are still in the first inning of the App revolution, which will add never-imagined-before utility to consumers and businesses worldwide.

If I’ve tried to teach my kids anything at all for the past decade, it’s that they should be passionate.  It doesn’t matter if they’re working, singing, doing their homework, working on becoming a better athlete or cooking a meal.  If you’re passionate about everything you do throughout life, it will be a life well worth living.  As Confucius once said, “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”  Steve said it best when he gave the commencement address at Stanford University in 2005.  If you haven’t heard it by now, you’ve probably been living under a rock.  You can read it by clicking here.

Peter Lynch has often been quoted saying, “invest in what you know”.   I’m not sure if someone else said “invest in what you love”, but after losing money for years on almost every stock I have ever purchased, I recently started following both of these philosophies.  Although the stock market is in the tank, I’m (relatively) confident knowing over time, investing in what I know and love will serve me well.  Why am I telling you this?  Because I love and I know Apple.

How much do I love Apple and their products?   Let me count the ways.  Over the past 10 years, I have purchased nearly 100 Apple products (not just for myself and my family, but for dozens of gifts for others).  Specifically, I have purchased two imacs, a macbook, 8 iphones, 3 ipads, 3 ipods, 2 ipod mini’s, 3 nano’s, 58 shuffles, 1 itouch, 1 Apple TV (although I admittedly returned this due to frustrations with my wireless cable connection) and many Apple accessories.  If that’s not love, what is?  And best of all, I never had to pay for any of these products (well, kind of.)  The few Apple shares I have purchased over the years have self-funded my Apple product purchases.  Invest in what you know and what you love.  Too bad it took me 20 years to figure this one out.

The people who work for Apple should all be proud of what they’ve created.  Their products have made my life so much more enjoyable and efficient and I would imagine they’ve also made millions of other lives better as well.  I don’t go anywhere without my iphone, I don’t run without my shuffle, I don’t wake up in the morning without turning on my ipad.  There is not a single day in my life when I am not using an Apple product.  Every company should strive to replicate perfection like Steve Jobs and Apple has for years.  Every company should be passionate about their products as well.  Thank you Apple.  And thank you Steve, for being so passionate.  You will be sorely missed.

America the Beautiful

I was going to post this last week, on the tenth anniversary of 9/11.  This (below) is something I wrote on a long road trip home after being stuck in California when the attacks occurred.  I thought I had saved an electronic copy, but I couldn't find it.  I finally found an old printed copy yesterday after cleaning out a bunch of old file cabinets and re-typed it into my laptop (sure, I could have scanned it, but re-typing it brought me closer to what had happened.)  My heart and prayers go out to all of those impacted in any way by 9/11.  

Here's my story.

I awoke at just before 6 A.M. PST and immediately turned on the television in my hotel room, as I always do when I travel in order to watch the morning news.  The first tower had been hit.  My heart sank.  I had arrived in California from New York the day prior.  I thanked the Lord I was alive since I could have easily been on one of those fatal flights if I had left Tuesday morning instead of Monday afternoon.  Minutes later, the second tower was hit, then shortly after the Pentagon was hit and then the Twin Towers crumbled.  At that moment, I truly thought the entire country was under attack.  If this was going to be an attack on the U.S., then a major city such as Los Angeles could possibly be a target as well.  I was on the 14^th floor of a high-rise hotel.  I decided it was the wrong place to be and I immediately checked out.

All airports had been shut down.  I knew I wasn’t going be flying home any time soon.  As a matter of fact, I had no desire to fly even if I could.  My co-worker, Steve, had flown in from New York just hours ago as well.  He and I felt blessed.

We were not sure if some of the meetings we had scheduled were still going to happen, so we made some calls.  Surprisingly, they were still on.  We went to our first meeting, which was with a telemarketing firm which handled inbound calls from TV advertisers.  They had dozens of TV’s lined up on the wall, horizontally and vertically, and they were all broadcasting the exact same pictures of people jumping from the towers and the towers collapsing, over and over again.  It was awful.  Steve and I couldn’t stop thinking about our families, as well as those that were being directly impacted by this terrible tragedy.  We had to get home.  We decided to drive back to Connecticut.  Luckily, we had a rental car from the day before and Hertz was incredibly generous in allowing us to put the miles on the car for no extra charge.

We started the trip at 3:00 PST on Tuesday.  We went on the Mapquest website and printed out the suggested route toward our homes in Connecticut.  The plan was to take 40 East out of California into Oklahoma, 44 East to St. Louis, 70 East into Pennsylvania and then straight into the NJ Turnpike through NY and back home.  Basically, it would only take a few roads to drive all 2,900 miles.

It is now early on Friday morning, the 14^th of September and I’m typing on my laptop computer while Steve drives.  We decided to drive all night last night.  We have driven over 40 hours in total so far, just briefly stopping in Flagstaff, Arizona and Tulsa, Oklahoma in order to catch a few hours of sleep the previous two nights.  There were very few cars on the road the entire trip.  We have eaten almost every type of fast food along the way.  We have driven past some incredibly tall mountains, through the Red Rocks of Arizona, through massive canyons, past flowing rivers, and deep valleys and flat plains as far as the eye could see.  Every mile we drove, we were more and more astonished at the natural beauty of this land.  If you haven’t driven across this country, do it soon.  It is truly magnificent.

The most incredible part of our journey, however, was not the scenery.  It was the people and their show of patriotism which was exhibited wherever we were.  As we drove into each city, we saw American flags everywhere.  Almost every hotel or gas station we passed had a sign wishing America well.  We drove under hundreds of overpasses with banners hung over the highway which read “God bless America”.  We listened to hours and hours of Talk Radio.  Nationwide, people were calling into voice their opinions as to what America’s plan of action should be.  Although these opinions varied widely of course, there was one common theme – an unyielding, impenetrable will to survive and to defend this country – a nation which must be defended for the good of mankind.

We are on the New Jersey Turnpike now, passing the New York City Skyline as we hit our final stretch home.  Something is clearly missing from the skyline downtown.  Although this tragedy was the only thing I’ve thought about for the past three days, it still seemed like it was just a terrible nightmare – until this very moment.  The massive Twin Towers, which I had always cherished as a teen, no longer soared above the rest of the city.  They were gone.

 

When I was younger, I was an avid photographer and would take pictures of the Towers constantly, as well as take pictures of NYC from the top of them.  As a young, single man living in NYC, I would take my dates to Little Italy for dinner and then go to the Observation Deck of the Twin Towers at night.  The city glistened from there.  Every young person has their own way of creating their romantic moments; this was mine.  The Towers will always have a special place in my heart.

As we come upon the final hour our trip, we are listening to some music on the radio.  We hear “Imagine” by John Lennon and “Heal the World” by Michael Jackson.  I listen to the words and wonder whether the world can truly “live as one” and whether we can all, in fact, work together to “make it a better place”.  I don’t know if we can, but I know we can’t stop trying…for our kids, for our future generations.  We must persevere.

Offer your friendship and your prayers to those directly impacted by this tragedy.  Donate blood, support the economy, do whatever you can to help.  Explain to your children that good things will ultimately come from this horrific event.  Tell them America will respond and will become stronger.

I sit here typing on an American-made computer, in an American car, listening to people and music from across the U.S.A.  I’ve been reminded of something on this trip, as most of us have started to realize the past few days…something many of us unfortunately take for granted.  This country has more to offer than any place on earth.  Beyond all of the natural beauty of this land, each individual has the freedom to practice religion, to pursue his or her goals, to communicate with their neighbors openly, to live their life the way they see fit.  Stand tall America, and hold your head up high.  Be proud to be an American, for America truly is beautiful.

Another birthday, but getting younger every day

I have good news and bad news.  First the bad news: It was my birthday recently and I hit another milestone.    The good news: I’ve been getting younger the past two years, according to one of the many web sites which calculates one’s biological age versus calendar age.   Last year on my birthday, I was biologically seven years younger than my calendar age.  Almost one year later, I am biologically 9 years younger.  So, I’ve actually gotten younger over the past 12 months!  

From now on, when someone asks me for my age, I’m not going to bother telling them my calendar age.  Why would I?  It wouldn’t be representative of my biological age – which is the true physical condition of my body and hence, my real age.   Isn’t this what really matters?  My birth certificate should become irrelevant!

I think healthcare institutions should start asking me for my biological age when I'm filling out medical forms and questionnaires.  It would probably also be worthwhile to list my biological age, if requested, on LinkedIn and the job posting sites as well.  I would think more companies might be interested in me if they knew I was physically capable of sticking around for nine more years.  Of course, they’re not supposed to discriminate, but you get the point.  And for all of you single men and women out there, it would be beneficial to list your biological age on your dating profile.  This doesn’t apply to me, since I’m happily married.  My wife enjoys being married to a much younger guy than she thought she married.  Although we’ve been married for 20 years, I’ve only aged 11 years (biologically, of course) during that time. (Lucky for me, she hasn’t aged much as well!)

At a minimum, I think I’ll start listing both of my ages in the future.  For example, if I was 35 calendar years old (which I’m not) and 9 years younger biologically, I would list my age as C35/B26 (Calendar 35/Biological 26.)  This would certainly be beneficial when applying for insurance.   Let’s start a new trend.  If we all do it, maybe it will become the norm.   At a minimum, it would be an incentive for everyone to work hard at reducing their “B” age, since they don’t have any control over their “C” age!

So how did I get to be “C minus 9” years old?   A little background: A couple of years ago, my family and I went to see the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  It was quite entertaining.   As I was watching it, I was thinking to myself “how the heck has my life flown by so quickly?”  I realized at that moment I needed to make some significant changes in order to slow things down.  I made a promise to myself and to my family I was going to reverse the aging process.  Sadly, they all burst out laughing.  Despite their doubts, I was determined to accomplish my goal and fight “Father Time.” 

Just for the record, I’m not crazy…although some people may say otherwise.  Regardless, I knew there were so many very basic things I could do to further improve my health.  However, I wasn’t positive I could reverse the aging process.  With some real effort, I did.

Here’s how: First and foremost, I have exercised almost every single day for the past two years.  I walk and run on the treadmill more than I ever have before.  I jump rope.  I do yoga and Pilates (although I must admit not very well.)  I give every new exercise regime listed in Men’s Health magazine a try.  I’ve tested almost all of the latest infomercial gizmos and fitness DVD’s along the way.   Some of them are actually pretty good.  Some are awful.  However, I’ve always found the basic “body weight” exercises, including push-ups, sit-ups, planks, squats and pull-ups, the best choices.  Most importantly, I try to do at least a ½ hour or more of cardio every day. 

Second, I watch what I eat more than I ever have before.   I have cut out at least 2,000 calories a day.   In the past, I would eat 5,000 – 6,000 calories a day.   I would think nothing of eating six meals every day.  I’m serious.  And that’s not counting the Nabisco Mallomars, Welch’s Fruit Snacks and the late night Ellio’s frozen pizzas (all of them each night!).  Fortunately, I’ve always been relatively thin since I’ve always been constantly active.  I have also been told that I have a high metabolism (although I have no idea what this means.)   And, I watch a minimal amount of television, so I’m not sedentary at all.

I now eat four meals each day (and I manage my portions better.)   Those meals consist of more oats, grains, fiber, fruits and vegetables.  And you know what?  They actually taste good!  Who would have thought?  Too bad it took me a few decades to figure this out.  I still need to cut out at least another 1,000 calories.  However, I probably burn close to 1,000 calories each day, so I guess it’s a wash.

Last, but certainly not least, I now have a doctor who is a fanatic about healthy habits, unlike my past physicians.   He also cares deeply about his patients.  When I went for my physical two years ago, he told me I had to lose six pounds (trust me, you never would have thought that I needed to lose weight.)  Sure, he could have rounded the number to five pounds instead of six, but it simply indicates how exact he tries to be when it comes to good health.

So, six pounds, huh?  Well, I have been to the summit of Kilimanjaro and I’ve hiked above Everest Base Camp to Kala Patthar.  In the latter case, I arrived home almost 20 pounds lighter than when I left for my trip three weeks earlier.  I survived on a diet consisting mostly of protein bars, peanut butter, stale bread, hot water and Fanta orange soda.  Please don’t try this at home. 

You don’t have to climb mountains (no pun intended) to get in shape.  You simply have to do some very basic things, but do them as often as you can.  Regardless, a few years later, when my doctor told me to lose six pounds, I realized I found someone who was really going to watch out for my health.

Am I glad I’ve gotten to this point?  Sure I am.  However, I still have more to do.  I need to eat much more fruits, vegetables and fiber.  I need to stretch much more than I do (I can barely touch my toes.) The list goes on and on.  That said, I’m writing this because I’m hoping that if just one person reads this and gets inspired by it, I will have made a difference and set them on the right course.  Exercising every day and eating better has truly changed my life for the better.  I feel great every day.  I hardly ever get sick anymore.   If you need proof, USA Today reported recently that it’s been proven that people who work out regularly get colds less frequently and tend to have much shorter colds, recovering quickly when they do get them.  I used to get sick for weeks at a time.  This winter, I had two colds and they both lasted for less than two days.

There are way too many daily distractions going on in our lives to focus on good health every day.  But if you don’t start eating right and exercising, the aging process will catch up with you before you know it.  And then it may be too late.  It doesn’t matter how old you are.  The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be.  So, start now.  Schedule your annual physical with a doctor you admire, watch the calories and take a long walk.  Do it for your family and do it for yourself.  Either way, as Nike says, just do it.

And one more thing, if this wasn’t inspiring enough for you, go to The New York Times web site and do a search on Philippa Raschker or go to The Wall Street Journal web site and do a search on Joseph Maroon.  If those stories and countless others don’t inspire you, then find something else that will.  Don’t give up.  You’re not getting any younger…but you can.  Biologically, of course.